GESCHICHTEN, GRAUEN UND GEFÜHLE   



It's free cooperation,
free collaboration, free agreements,
call it free love.

Sometimes it is better to explain oneself before things get to confused.
Sometimes it is better to stick to confusion and enjoy the tension of uncertainty and play.
I don't know which one you prefer. I absolutely like the second choice best.
It surely contends some danger, some difficulty. Me enjoying confusion and uncertainty obviously does not mean people involved with me share my opinion. So as a matter of respect and honesty to the beings who have the unbelievable honour of being in contact with me ;-)) I shall try to make things easier for them to understand and bear me.
If you like playing, confusing and being uncertain about what happens next, if you like a "spirit of the moment" feeling, no commitments and no certain outcomes (isn't life great?!?!) DO NOT read
anyfurther.
Don't!!

 

Seriously. It'll destroy your fun, maybe.

 

 

I knew you'd be nosey enough to read this far!

Here's your last chance.

 

 

Alright. You wanted it this way.

Now let me make clear to you: NOTHING is ever "clear".
Everything is in process, changing all the time. Everything is a construct of your mind - changing with your position towards it and with your experiences. (this statement is a paradox - but one that is fun philosophizing about, and one I can happily live with).
Nothing is ever clear. That's what makes life so interesting and excititing, gripping, absorbing, thrilling. So whatever I tell you now is a truth of a moment only, not more. Whatever I say today, might be different tomorrow. Only some basic convictions survive over a longer time.

This is about finding new relations towards each other.
This is about opening borders - in one's mind, in one's social contexts.
This is about exploring new ressources of sociality.
This is about mixing up conformity and destroying what is being sold to us as "the only way", as "normal".
This is about sex, gender, love and the understanding of it.

NOTHING is ever "clear". Everything is in process, changing all the time. Everything is a construct of your mind - changing with your position towards it and with your experiences.

Every creature is special, is different. And therefore every relationship from one being to another is special. No two beings, no two relationships are ever the same. (not even one remains the same in its course).
Still, conform opinionated people, society, the system tell us how we should behave towards one another; that love involves sex, friendship doesn't involve either of them; that we are in the never ending search for that "one being", that one person to be our eternal and only partner, the others ranging second and third; that we are either lesbian/gay or hetero; that we are either man or woman.
I do not share that opinion. Social relationships should be free: freely made, freely dissolved, consensuated about. This should be decided upon independently of sex and gender. It's about individuals. Individuals and their relationships - if freely made - should not be in challenge to one another, because everyone is special, and special TO everyone else. It's free cooperation, free collaboration, free agreements, call it free love.
That's my conviction so far.
It's not easy to live this in a world where everyone - including myself - has been differently socialised. But that's no news to a revolutionary.

I suppose you are truly confused now (whats does this madcow want, ay?!) Well that's good that way.

Bearing the above said in mind, let us carry on, me writing, you reading.
Remember: I mean every word I have written so far.

Every creature is special, is different. And therefore every relationship from one being to another is special. No two beings, no two relationships are ever the same.

I LIKE you. LIKE. You have a beautyfull soul, an open mind, a free spirit, a sensitive heart. (well, at least for as far as I can judge). You are special. You are attractive. You have some sort of femininity I find pleasing (I TOLD you, don't read further!!! It's your own fault now!)
I like touching you [in fact: I am mad about your hair, as you might have noticed ;-) ]; I enjoy feeling you and being with you. (No, this is not one of those cheezy love letters!!! or anything in this direction, This is a highly personal and political matter) often enough I don't know just WHAT it is I feel about you. But that is all part of the concept - even that I do not know whether it is right or wrong I'm telling you all this. Considering there is no "right" or "wrong" as such, at least it is honest and respectfull I hope. I just do not want you to think in a way about me that I do not share and did not intend to make you think, no matter which direction that may be, if positive or negative.

This is about breaking down walls in our heads in order to go new ways of communication and together-ness. It's about living our desires in an honest and respectfull and FREE way.

Wow, life can be so exciting, so thrilling. It is, what you make of it, inside the possibilities that are give to you. So many people cannot find a door to their happiness and content, because they keep running after the promoted one. Looking for Pamelas and Veronas, the one and only, feeling ashamed to desire their friends and punishing themselves with restrictions and morality for feeling nothing but positive vibes about another person.

I'm drifting into new worlds, and I do not even need drugs for that. There is so much to discover.

Free cooperation, free agreement means also, taking steps ahead, checking out each others boarders and taking steps back, that where too much for the other person. It's about playing a gentle game on each others borders, respecting each others will and personality. Force, begging, compelling, disrespect, domination have nothing to do with what I envision.
Sometimes I get the idea, you could be uncomfortable with me. Show me selfconsciously when I am annoying you.

So if you've read until here, and you don't think I am a complete lunatic, congratulations! If you think I am insane, you're probably right, and I am proud of it.

I'd LOVE an answer on this, but I am not expecting one.

I'd LOVE an answer on this,
but I am not expecting one.

 

  rehzi